Bipolarity, Sweet and Bitter should just be kept extrictly to food

Every time I go with you is mainly a sea of sorrow followed by a few moments of bliss. You don't care about my opinions or my fears, you only care about you being comfortable. What do you care if I have to pay everything including the roof in which you live in. What do you care about the troubles of adulthood. You are just a kid, a kid that has tons of mood swings and the knowledge that you know that you are loved and that this person (me) can and will do anything you want to you is the only weapon you wield to cause harm.  Why do I even put myself in this situation. "let's go to the movies" says stupid me, rational me is "Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself, he's just going to demean your existence and make you feel worthless" . . . and I simply do it because in my stupid fantasy of a world I have faith that he will care and hold me, and listen to everything I have to say. That he will be interested in what I have to say, think and do. He worries about all the things I have to pay and he offers help so I won't be so stressed. He knows I'm tired, specially because of my job, and he knows that I need to rest. He's understanding, empathetic and helpful.  Reality is that he is selfish, ignorant, arrogant, condescending, impatient, and he hates being with me, listening to me and in short everything that has to do with me. Yet he is perfectly okay living at my expense. I'm tired of you being such an asshole and in a minute or two trying to be friendly and loving to me. YOU'RE A DOUCHE BAG!

How dare you look at pictures of others and then say "he's so hot" and then turn to me and sweet talk "are we going to get dinner after the movie" Fucking shameless asshole. Karma is really going to get you and I definitely need to stop being so permissive with stupid people that are not worth my time. You are just using me for your own benefit. I'm killing myself for you and you don't even flinch at the sight of me. Curse that I am still in love with you. Curse that I fucking do this for you, I hope you realize what you are doing to people, because the universe is funny that way. For every action you take, there's an equal and opposite reaction. . . The amount of that potential energy of negativity you surround yourself in will come back to haunt you. I won't have anything to do with it.

A painful peaceful night

I stare at that stool you kicked looking for comfort in cold sheets.

Once again I'm here... Here on the floor kicked and abused once more.  Just when I'm close to open the doors to my heart---there it goes again.  That abuse all over again.  I see you kick a chair to me,  throw a book at my head,  threaten me to break the porcelain doll I like,  smack a beer bottle so that it gets all over for me to clean.  But I'm the one "gas lighting"  you.  You're not a good person.  You are a selfish little brat that loves to manipulate your environment to your advantage to the cost  of others.  There's no honor in you.  There never was.  I put up with you because I feel trapped.  I don't know what to do,  where to go.  I'm alone.  My parents don't want to hear this,  my siblings won't know about this.  And  I - - - I just stay here and take it.  Though I should no longer.  I should kick you out of my life like you did to me.  Convenience is such an awesome thing when they're totally in love with you.  Sadly for me you're totally in love with yourself.  You don't know how to love. Only how to love yourself and sometimes I even whine about that.  Thus the need for approval from strangers.  Unjustified anger and frustration, that is you.

Kicks with Love

I remember the first time you shoved me. The first time you kicked me out of your bosom. Forcefully and coldly as if I'm not anyone you cared about or "loved" (perhaps is because you never did). It was like a cold knife going thru my heart and chilling the blood in my veins. I felt the chill of dejection caused by your own acts of rejection. I was no one, I had no value to you I was a THING that bothered you that was better to kick away (literally).   Almost three years from that and now your kicks stab at a numb and callous heart. The physical pain is not what I cared, it was the emotion, the hurt, the betrayal, that I cared. Now, this wounded heart is nothing but a numb entity that can follow his day as if nothing had happen. Your kisses which you claim is love is nothing but a ticking bomb waiting for your next mood swing that will leave me paralyzed. Your violence and negligence makes me want to vomit in discord. Not even hate, but this ------------------------- NOTHING as if I'm a zombie created by the darker side of love. This is me right now. I don't know what are you anymore, yet . . . this was always YOU!