Why?

What am I doing here? Being kicked around, ignored, and mishandled.  What have I done again?

These are the questions that I keep getting no answer in the whole time that my relationship has been going on. Unfortunately the actual answer seems to just be right in front of me all this time. I should be strong and see the reality of this relationship

First day on the new transferance, transending the paper.

 I previously have been writing a blog, or more of a "diary" type of blogging where I would write different things about my life; a kind of outlet where i could unwind. This used to take place on myspace, but the software used in there kinda trapped my diary to the mercy of myspace :( from there there was a gap of about 3 years where nothing got recorded. Then recently I started recording all this things in an actual physical paper and pen journal. Even though it tends to capture much more feeling, as far as the lettering, ink, random doodles and pictures I put in it, it just seems like a very unpractical way of writing. At least for me that is. 


Is not shareable, seems to be stocked as a one of a kind item that seems perishable, thus I have started now this recap where I will transcribe all that I have written in this journal and will continue with the whining lol.