I can't believe that i have taken such step. Officially on December fifth I am no longer single. The whole story is actually quite random yet romantic in my eyes but that would be another post. Perhaps one of those sentimental-valentine's-type kinda post. The whole purpose of this post actually has a lot to do with the fact that I have a boyfriend.
Coming out had crossed my mind many times during my life, definitely the most difficult part was coming out to myself. The most challenging part of that was to be able to define who I really was. I never saw a distinction in the gender of the person that I loved. It always was about the person behind the husk of flesh and bone inside it. People around me though always seemed to put a label on that. I at one point in my life I was obsessed in trying to find the label that could appeal to me but the difficult part was that none of them actually fit. I was not quite, sure why but deep inside it I felt that it would help me stop wondering and actually stay living and standing for something in my life.
When I was 19 I finally figured it all out. Pansexuality seemed so fitting. Is not about the gender but the person. At that moment I really did not cared about my mom or dad knew about me or not. Religion and the way they view the world would not have been of any help anyway.
Finally though now at my boyfriend's house I see how welcomed i am. How normal all this seems to them. This new year's eve he actually kisses me in front of his mom and siblings and they where so normal about it... It hit me, I wanted the same for him. I don't want to hide him or the love I have for him. If that's going to cost me everything I have then so be it. It would all be worth it since my life and everything I have would make no sense if it's not with him. It is not fair for me to do this to him, to have him in the shadows for my own cowardice.
We went to a small bistro by my old house and and we talked and that's when he was talking to me about his coming out stories with his siblings and mom. Then he listened to me about how hard it has been for me and he said. "you're going to get thru this... We're going to get thru this "
