06/22/11

Birthday's Eve                      2:48 PM

   So, it has been a while since I've gotten more than 12 hours of work, now thanks to the laziness of a co-worker I took over her shift of 7 hours putting my total hours for this week at about 21 ( hey it is a part-time).

   The spectre has done now back to her lair (FL) and she's left in the shittiest way, ditched chiyo and went to get high, then came back (at the request of Child) for like 5 minutes, to say that she got high and drunk and that it was Child's fault because she told him that she was going to do that when he was drunk.  The idiot gobbled that up and of course said " ah yea that was my fault"  in the first place, why do you need to do that when supposedly  you came to visit Chiyo, oh well what I can say is that what goes around comes around.

   So Chiyo's  birthday is tomorrow and I'm not sure what to get him, although I think I got an idea. I bought him before a Betta fish, but they all died (We bought line 3). I'm thinking in giving him a pretty one, his tank is just sitting on his bedside, empty. Perhaps this addition of a tiny soul that he  would have to take care will softer him a little bit (or so that's the plan). I might just go to Pet Co. today and pick a good one for him. ^_^! It's convenient that he works until 12:30 AM so that when he gets home he'll have his birthday present on his actual birthday ^_^!

   PS: I've been thinking in transcribing all this entries in blogger, though the issue is that is kinda difficult to type all this in my phone; I need a laptop ^_^!

PPS: Need to start on a strict diet regiment (abs are 10% exercise 90% diet) I have all the knowledge but lack of will, need to not think about it and just do it, need to get a better body soon.

06/16/11

Wondering Spectres            2:00 AM

  It has been about two weeks since that last entry, my work hours have been cut,  still I managed to still not gotten fired, hoping that when the boss's sister leaves I'll have more hours. ^_^! I'm kind of afraid of carrying my phone around because its expensive, but is so useful I can't leave home with out it=. Today I got the new unlimited plan, where i get everything (web, talk, text) little thing is that's $20 dollars more than the current bill I pay. Seems like a whole weeks paycheck is going to pay my phone *I need a new job* well as you can see from the title the "Wondering Spectre" has shown up  tonight, around 12:50 AM. We (parents, Capi and Chiyo) were coming back from picking up chiyo form McDonald's (he gets out around 12:30 AM) and we left his friend/manager (Ivan) at home and proceeded to come home; on the way home, my mom noticed a glowing head in the distance. Since my dad was parking at the time. The headlights illuminated this glowing dead, making the face of this spectre shine in the whiteness and accentuated its shadows. For a moment it looked extremely tall and full of sorrow, not to mention extremely CREEPY, to which I properly exclaimed "that's Creepy!" My mom did say look is Victoria, or her ghost is now roaming the house. Chiyo's eyes lighted up with confusion, surprise, happiness. Yep, the Victoria had indeed arrived from Florida un-announced, now I say that's nice, she came to visit Child, But for some reason I don't quite believe this is happening for her being so charitable, she has something going in for her. She could be sad/homesick or . . . she needs something hmmm... I went to shower and I overheard her talking to Child something about him "paying the way over there, and her paying the way back" Idk but sounds like the so called Christmas present that never came "I have an idea, why don't you buy me an expensive gift, and I'll get you one in return for Christmas" . . . Yup sounds familiar alright. Now I have just gotten out of the shower and I see that chiyo and her are no longer in the premises hmm... I wonder, could they have gone to Chiyo's ATM to withdraw all chiyo's money's hmm... I wouldn't be surprised if that actually happened I would like to say that I"m being exaggerated, that i'm being too judgemental but the sad true is that this person is one of those people that you just know what they have hiding, there's no depth/mystery to them (including today's trip). She mentioned on facebook that she felt like coming to NJ well lo' and behold, she's hither, 24hrs later. I wonder who's going to eventually pay for that impulse . . . and I"m talking about money hither. 

   You know I'm not obsessed over money nor anything is just that it seems unfair to  me that every time my brother works his ass off to get a penny every thing goes away so this woman can go and spend it with other guys. May be I shouldn't feel so bad, he probably deserves it for being  so gullible.  Is just frustrating, God help these children not harm each other, help my brother get somewhere good in this world, and this woman too so she stops extortioning others.  God please also give me patience and wisdom to act in your name to not do things I shouldn't do to help me be the guide of them and help me open the path towards a good place for my family and their loved ones, and my loved ones.  It's getting late (2:34 AM) more on this soon to come, hopefully and God-willing good news.

PS: Capi's bored, Father's tired and probably sick (too much work, not enough sleep) mother's desperate of being home, Marucha's working. Diana's doing  zumba. I'm still getting fat 135lbs 14%body fat :'( must work out. ^_^!

06/04/11

A Three-Month Re-cap        

   I haven't come back to you Octavious or whatever was the name I gave you ^_^! since last March, well this is pretty much what has happened, there's not much to say, pretty much same dramas as always. A pizza guy finally came to the Deli and is making that place a restaurant, I have become somewhat of a sous-chef and they're "teaching" me how to cook, to be honest they kinda suck at cooking but they know ho to manage a restaurant. Anthony and Dawn got fired, they don't do anything and complaint too much , so Eddie (pizza guy) fired them. We got new people which of course I had to train and now they pretty much are taking all my hours, my birthday passed, Marucha got or tried to do something nice the week before my birthday where Chiyo, her and other people would go for my birthday. Thing is that it coincided with interviews that we had for new jobs, which btw we didn't get. I went to the NYC thing and I had to pay for me, Child and Marucha, the other people were there but everyone seemed in a hurry to leave, Marucha's new shoes made her feed bleed, so we had to trade shoes so she could walk, and Chiyo left me because he had to go and play WoW with Victoria. Giovanni brought his retarded vulture-like creature of a bf and he was extra bitchy to me, we ate dumplins and then cached a train and a bus home, no one sang happy birthday to me and got no cake because we had no moneys.  On my birthday however I went to the movies with Marucha, and It was nice because for a miracle it was the only Tuesday I didn't have to work ( I was off on my birthday) The day after people in the deli said happy birthday and that was pretty much it. Chiyo is working at McDonal's now and sending 75% of his money to Victoria, he's paying me $75 whenever Victoria leaves him with some money for $300 that he pretty much took form me to give them to her, and Marucha is back home for the summer trying to deal with her mom and dad and trying to get a job. Capi is with me pretty much everyday, I have a dog whistle that actually has helped me train him, and we go to Ramsey (about 40 minutes away) to pick up child and he actually behave (the dog at least lol). I got a new phone that has proved pretty useful and has liberated me from Child's territorialism towards his computer. Child now wants to take over my phone, so no privacy for my phone I guess. I can now keep tabs on facebook on Child and Marucha and other people (yay?). Child keeps being an asshole to me, today he woke me up by kicking me in the back as I was sleeping. I forgot to mention that the week before my birthday he took my bike without my permission and gave it to Ivan and Ivan got hit by a car and my bike got pretty much destroyed. Ivan is fine, nothing happened to him but my bike got all bended, Ivan didn't wanted to file a police report so pretty much no one wants to pay for my bike. Child said that I should go and talk to Ivan about it but I"m like, why should I fix this? he should be the one fixing this freaking issue since he pretty much gave my bike to someone else to destroy  it point is NO ONE wants to take responsibility so that leaves me loosing not only money but my only method of transportation that I spent so much time in.

   on other news, Marucha's sister gave me a drawing of me, how I would look in anime form. In a way, the ideal me, in anime form. I'm pleased with he drawing and it made me slightly happy. It's still in the process of completion since right now is just a black and white sketch, its nice though, its signed by her.

   So far My only stable and ever-constant bundle of happiness has been Capi. I feel that sometimes I'm too selfish and just watch TV when he needs to get out and see the sun . Though this past two days I have redeemed myself by taking him out to run for about 10-20 miles ^_^!

   Mother fought with my Aunt, but hopefully is not a lasting thing, it doesnt'' seemed that way since they're now talking ore, thanks to the Grandma, Father barely sleeps because he has to go and pick up chiyo to work Marucha calls me everyday and Richard moved out for about two weeks, but today he has arrived oh great!!! *insert sarcasm here* 

PS. 3 days ago 2 military helicopters passed by the house and Child saw a transparent orange object flying the the house. 

 

03/16/11

Drugs and Sandwiches                           11:45PM

   So today I'm borrowing a flowy pen from Marucha, first time I'm actually writing on a writing desk.  It feels better than writing on no support at all.  So the thing with this kid from the deli came out to be nothing, according to him he was just kidding; yea right.  Either way, now I'm working with a weird kid by the name of Niko, first thing he said to me was "Do you smoke weed? Cause I'm trying to become a dealer" yea this kid is something, I smell issues. Hopefully though he's just temporary because I honestly don't want/can't risk it getting in trouble just because of a dumb ass.  When I was counting the money he asked me to let him grab the money so he could take a picture with it. My reaction was a solid "sorry I can't do that" he gives me a weird vibe, like he would steal money from the safe. I'm not being prejudist, I'm just cautious because I really don't want to be blamed for someones recklessness.  Dawn (40 yo bitchy closing manager that thinks she's 16) doesn't like him, and I have a feeling Anthony (Dawn's gay boyfriend) doesn't either "he's an oddball, and fucking weird!" said Dawn. As Marucha puts it so eloquently, Niko has received the kiss of death by Dawn. Meaning that one way or another he's getting fired.

   Chris, an ex-coworker from that same place came to visit and asked for a sammich called the L.C. (short for Luis and Chris Sandwich) which we invented (pretty much grilled chicken on garlic bread and melted mozzarella with oregano and ham) kinda disgusting if you ask me, but oh well he tipped me ^_^! and now he's working on an antique store getting paid like $825 per week as a base salary plus bonuses so sometimes he gets $1,000 a week. Lucky bastard! oh well meanwhile I'm hither because one way or another I really can't find good jobs due to my situation. I really need to go back to school and my brother really needs to start it.  Victoria is now leaving to Florida and came by today to pick up her ipod cable and yea... To tell Chiyo that she's leaving for graphics's design in Fl. I don't know but if you're Chiyo's best friend you could've mention that or give heads up but no, she just came for her stuff and said oh yea btw I'm leaving see ya, and left.  I try not to meddle but its kinda shitty from her part to Chiyo, oh well nothing for Chiyo to do about that I have the feeling (Marucha agrees) that she'll be back pretty soon.

   Marucha's still home for spring break and apparently now she got a haircut! (I needs me a haircut ^_^!) She'll be back on Saturday night and apparently she's bringing her bicycle with her so now we can ride to places "YAY!!!" I'm planning in taking Capi to one of them so he can run and exercise too, he's too lazy now and it's not good for a Jack Russel Terrier. Oh yea he keeps begging for food when we're eating.  He won't even touch his food just to beg *tsk tsk* oh well so far this is it for me. I have to go and work out before it gets too late. I wouldn't want to skip another work out day (I'm starting to feel flabby again). I skipped yesterday because I ran to work (2blocks) and to a bus (1mile) then to the other bus (.5miles) then to Barnes and Noble (2.5miles) and back. Total of about 8miles, which is not a lot but I'm so out of shape that it felt like it was. So I need to work out soon and find on YouTube how to properly tie a dog to a bicycle ^_^! btw Capi has a harness so I won't choke him accidentally. I would also go slow on the bike, since he hasn't exercised in a long time (my fault).

PS. one of my fishes is swimming weird and she's pregnant (yellow guppy) hope she'll be fine and my nephew's driving now, I feel that he looks older than me and I feel like an ageless vampire . . . life is GOOD!!! ^,..,^!

03/15/11

Updates and Lemons                        12:59AM

   Dear Octavious, yea remember your name? Well as you can tell my flowy pen is still at large, nowhere to be found and yes this is the second week of me exercising (giving that in total I have skipped four days it might just be a solid week of exercise).I've started a workout regiment that takes 60days and gives you a results of a year's worth of a work out.  This regiment is called "insanity" it's hard but not impossible, I'm sticking to it because Marucha and I both are in this together. Pinky swear and everything ^-^! since the second day I started to see results and it makes me feel a bit more happy (well that was grammatically perfect).

   My mommy, if I didn't mentioned before, has a broken ankle ( more like a broken fibula) but now after 2 months the cast has come off though she complains of a pain in her back now, its a muscular pain, she over exerted herself when Richard, Lord of Fitness as always tried to make the mother exercise and I'm sure that whatever he was doing was done wrong, I remember when once I worked out with him and I couldn't unflex my biceps for 15 days, mainly because I was stupid and I trusted him and I pretty much went too far and injured myself. I suspect this is what happened to the mother.  My dad seems so tired and bills keep piling up. He even asked me for a loan to pay rent and some food for the house.  I was mad because Richard never puts any money and pretty much just leaches out of us .  Though lately he has been most helpful and brought home some fruit.

   I went to a party at Sid's place with Marucha and it was fun.  Kinda lame but still fun ^_^! met new people some whiny-dislocated-shoulder-kid (faking a dislocated shoulder to get attention) and a fat kid that was nice and a bit friendly named Christian. Marucha was being hit on by this creepy kid named Frank(einstein) and by pretty much everyone  else.  Apparently one of her friends saw her drunk and sen her a text saying " I saw you and you were drunk lol" it was kinda funny. That same day we (Marucha and I ) went to the diner and read the newspapers (NY Times) over a cup of coffee and orange juice and french toast when all of the sudden in the news its saying that there's an earthquake in Japan, then a tsunami and I saw people dying live.  Common sight now specially if you lived by/in NYC on 2011. Either way those poor people should be fine now, hopefully. My cousin grandma just died and I got chased by a ghost not to say presence and sounds that we might think it might have been her.  She needs a prayer and a mass to rest in peace now. Capi is as a glutton as ever and needs a shower ^_^!

   we randomly got about 10 lbs of lemons so right now I'm drinking lemonade. I'm thinking on summer already lol.

   Marucha and I went to an acupuncture and herbalist school open house and it seemed to suck, too much money (16k a year) too much time (4years), that it might be better to just go  to grad-school for that money and get a PhD in that time. One more thing this stupid kid from work keeps texting me on my days off to cover for him (I should be happy that I get his hours) but hes so damn passive aggressive when asking me for a favour so for the past 5 days I've said no in one way or another (I'm out of the state, I have an exam, I went to the Dr. with my mommy). Today he sent me a text saying that he got diarrhea all of the sudden and wanted me to cover for him.  I told him (after 3 and half hours later) that, "sorry I couldn't get back  to you I was at the doctor's with my mom and I wasn't allowed my phone on and I hoped he feels better." so far no response though.  I'm just going to go to work like none of this happened, I'm not even going to mention it.  I just hope I don't get crap from him or anyone else.  I need the money now (electricity is $1000 right now).  Good news is that the father will start to work at his old job again, bad news is that he seems so tired.  I'm not letting him pay me back, though he could be nicer when asking rather than "LET'S GO NOW TO THE BANK!"

   Oh yea and by the way that Christian kid texted Marucha I just know he has other intentions he's just too nice . . . to me. :o

02/27/11

My Flowy Pen . . . It's Gone!          2:43 PM 

     It has been a couple days since the dog poop incident and I've been too tired to write anything. I usually write this on my bed.  Pretty much to summarize all; The Marucha went home for the weekend, which makes me have a room, I sleep in her bed, until she comes back today in a couple hours. I'm contemplating on going to get my haircut with Fredderik Fekkai, on 5th ave or getting clothes/cellphone. And if you haven't noticed, I lost my flowy pen :( Work has been interesting; just yesterday the owner of the place almost killed his super tenant from one of his houses for $29. It was interesting, they started arguing given that he was already angry because there was a delivery on Saturday that should've come on a weekday. then they almost resulted in a fist fight and I'm just there watching everything. Then when everything was over, the other worker was just there looking at me, and we started to laugh because the whole situation was funny.  As of right now I'm sitting riding in a van with the parents, the father got into an accident with an old guys  and our car's suspension got destroyed so now we have a new van that's comfy inside but super ugly outside.  I've named it the "skunk" because is low to the ground and it looks kinda pointy.  Winter is almost over and honestly it kinda saddens me.  I would love to have another snow storm ^_^!

  I also need to start exercising again because I'm feeling flabby.  people are going to come home, for the bazillionth time and I think I'm just going to be trapped in my room. ugh . . .  oh well that's it for me so far, till l8trz!!!

02/18/11

OH CRAP                          3:14 AM

  So today went pretty much smoothly with house mates. Not really any issues to report. Except that now I went to the job which now they're making me wear a stupid hat due to my beautiful hair :P It kinda makes me look like a terrorist so today I shaved my beard thingy that used to define my jawline. Now i look younger and my face looks more round, which is not flattering :( I look more androgynous again...

  At night I took Capi for a walk and as we were passing a house there was this creepy Peruvian  guy staring annoyingly at Marucha and Me from the window so I kinda figured that he was keeping an eye on Capi so I pulled Capi close to me so he wouldn't poop around that place. So we passed that house and then all of the sudden I see this shadow. It was a person obviously calling me, so Marucha and I started walking faster and faster, but then this woman started "shh-ing" and whistling and at one point she was saying "mira, oye" I don't know  she annoyed me because she followed us halfway  across a block to tell me that Capi had pooped in her stupid property. She  even said that the poop was hot?! I was going to  tell her if she touched it, but I was too angry at the false accusation that I felt I wanted to punch her so I told her, "why don't you  go and tell that to all the other people that live on this street that also have dogs, how do you even know my dog did this! ..."  pretty much I freaked out on her until she pretty much left and I kept shouting at her. I never do that to people but I think that all that happened just got to me (not to say the fact that she chased me half a mile to tell me that). I felt so angry that I was even planning on grabbing all the poops of the neighbours and just dumping them in her stupid property.  I kept thinking about that for a while so I then decided that I would take Capi home and I would get some bags so I could tell that woman "where's the fucking shit you're blaming me for? I don't want to be blamed for something my dog and I have not done, next time you do this I will freaking sue you for slander!" So I was determined to go there and ring her doorbell and just tell her off; when I reached the place I realized that Capi in fact  had pooped by her property. So there I stood wit a bag in my hand and the poop in there  steaming due to the wind at the chilly night. then I said . . .

                                                  "fuck her she can pick my dogs shit if she so desires."

I would have picked it up would her stupid husband not be staring at me in the first place; or that bitch not have followed me across the block to blame my child and me.  So now i kept thinking about how much I hated that woman, meanwhile I just hope I don't get sued ^_^! Capi shall remain in my property for a while. . . until this cools down a bit, and if I take him for a walk I'll take him on the other side of this street just to avoid stupidly annoying people like her and her stupid husband.  Now thinking about it; I think those people are the parents of this kid I went to middle school with.  Oh well, they're still assholes!

  On another note I think I might be out of a job pretty soon. The restaurant might be close for about a month due to a stupid brick oven (to make pizza) that might be getting constructed. I'm getting flabbier by the minute and Marucha is going to the school's gym tomorrow.  Makes me want to go to the LA Fitness tomorrow and get a membership, only problem is that it's a billion miles from the house and to get there it might be a workout with in it by itself so I'm thinking it. Since I might not have a job also, I might not get an iPod touch either. Seems like I'm not destined to have nice things.  On the other hand I played the lottery and of course I'm going to win so I shall be there with a bazillion dollars to follow what I want and stop living paycheck after paycheck! I would be an apple person ^_^! . . . and a singer . . . and travel
                                                                                                       -----
                                                                                                         --
                                                                                                          -

02/16/11

After the Storm, Comes Tranquility                   11:20 PM

So after the last entry, there was a bomb that went off in this house, pretty much the Marucha had a mental breakdown. To our surprise was witnessed by Klinefelter's (this kid that does anything to suck up to the mother) so he just stood there, went to the bathroom and went and taddy-telled to the mother. So then the mother got mad and then the Victoria woman showed up and stayed overnight and the parents were super duper annoyed so this house was super hellish. Then Valentine's day came up, so Marucha had like 2 heart attacks apparently its my fault that she's gaving them because I'm responsible to what happens to her body. Eitherway, this turned into a discussion and then of course as any discussion, she ran away outside, so I followed. It was cold (about 18° F) and the only thing I had was a T-shirt. She didn't seemed to care (the previous night I had given her an onyx heart with a silver design and hematite for valentine's and given she is my best friend I thought it would be a nice touch. She said thank you but for some reason I just feel that she just didn't care very much for it. Anyway we fought and then I told the Marucha that she really didn't give a crap for me because if she would she wouldn't let me be out in that cold with only a T-shirt. It took me to repeat about 15 times for ther to actually take the initiative to take me home. she said: "do you want my jacket?" But I just told her that I didn't wanted it I wanted something else, something meaningful, not a stupid jacket, I wanted a hug that would keep me warm. To put aside all these retarded issues to focus in what's important, the firendship; the person!

  So we made our way back to the basement and then she ordered pizza and chicken wings for me and we ate and everything became less stressful.  My mom still pissy at me because I'm pretty much spending no time with the mother. But the same thing could be said for her. I don't know as far as of now, everything seems to be going on a good basis; we're planning on getting together with people from Montlcair and going somewhere, that's still in the works though and as of now you can feel some lift of the weight of stress in the house.

  On a side note, father got in an accident and the car is totalled now, so no rides to the movie theater, norides to PetCo. no safety net anymore, if i'm stuck somewhere, that's it! Apparently we might get a new car but honestly I doubt that, more likely than not we're going to get the same car fixed by the insurance company. eitherway I don't expect to have transportation for about a month and a half.  The electricity war continues and I keep getting fat, but what else is new. I should really start exercising again, I'm beginning to feel extra flabby :( I might start insanity again. I want to be in good shape in March/April ^_^!
 

02/12/11

      Rubber-Band Ball, Ball Under Stress       9:40 PM

  Skipped a day from writing an entry, just too tired and busy to write anything. I finally started reading that book  "To be Read By Candle Light" and finished the first story . i like the way it was written but the story itself, just sucked. I went to sleep around 3:40 AM and then had to wake up around 8:00 because I had to go to work today.  I don't know, it seemed a drag to go to that place for the 100th time this week. I didn't eat breakfast nor anything but when I got there, it seemed as if no one wanted to be there. As the day progressed more and more people kept coming and they all seemed in a good mood, I even got a couple tips. ^_^! (hurray!) I was kinda bored of the same routine so I took a picture of this kids slippers and sent it to Marucha. We kept texting, I was just hoping to get out of there soon but it seemed that the Marucha was just thinking in how the parents were in the kitchen. She complaints a lot about the parents, her teacher, parents, homework, e-mail, her health, Capi, the weather, food, and everything under the sun. I understand why she does it though but sometimes its just annoying, you don't have to mutter everything under your breath it just get under the skin of other people and you create more issues in which you'll complain more about. She means well, and she's a wonderful person but 95% of the time (that she spends with me anyway) she's complaining and moping. I can almost imagine her reading this and just focusing on how I said she complaints a lot and totally forgetting on how I say how "she's a wonderful person." Sigh . . . That's how she starts to complaint. I complain a lot, specially in this book [blog] but there's something crucial, that I always remember that is to live and let live.

   Sometimes I feel like the Marucha blows me always from her life when she needs to meet with her friends but if I were to ever do that, I would never hear the end of it, in fact I feel that she would just stop talking to me altogether and she would just move on with her life, not caring one bit for anything. I asked her today if she wanted to come with me to the bank (parents driving) and to my surprise she said yes! I did tell her that we were not going to get down from the car. So after the bank the parents said if we waned to go for a drive somewhere, or for some coffee, to which she responded to me. "NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE BUT HOME BECAUSE YOU SAID WE WEREN'T GOING TO GET DOWN FROM THIS CAR! AND IF WE GO TO DUNKIN' DOUGHNUTS I JUST KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE ME GET DOWN AND I'M NOT DRESSED FOR THIS AND I FEEL SICK . . . " I felt as if I was getting accused for something I didn't do,  I just asked a simple question. since then she's been ignoring me doing other things to avoid talking to me as if I had deeply offended her. Sometimes I feel that I feel happier dealing with retarded bosses and people that I don't know than to come home and see your "best friend" ignoring you, blaming you, complaining to you and about you with her mom, other people and over all diminishing the importance of friendship by trivialities. I feel that when I come home, my parents just look for me to do something for them, my brothers just  looking for me to be their sound board and my best friend complaining about everyone and me just sitting here trying to comply wit my mom, Chiyo, and his "insubordination." how mistreated I feel by him, how blunt, angry at me he is because according to him and ALL his friends, I'm the one ruining his life. If it wasn't for me he would have anything he wanted. (like he doesn't already). Maruchan is right on this one though; everyone in this family does what they want, and get what they want. My mom gets clothes for her granddaughters, my Dad gets his coffee, or other stuff when he wants, and Chiyo, gets everything he wants with out doing anything for anyone else safe- Victoria, whim obviousely is using chiyo like she u$e$ the rest of the world.

   It seems that I never really get anything for myself. I was thinking in getting an Ipod touch for myself but just last night, I had something come to mind, why not buy the eyeglasses for both my parents since they need them. I told that  to the Marucha in the car and her response was a very annoyed "DO WHATERVER YOU WANT IT'S YOUR MONEY" it seems that every since then she got pissed at me.

  Right now, I feel like I want to disappear form this house and go somewhere where people are just happy and I can be myself, not worrying about what people are doing thinking if I did a thing that might get them mad or just be so needy . I feel that for once in my life i want to be a bit selfish and worry about myself, get something for me. I lie, what i really want is for people in this house to be a bit more respectful for the needs of other, but more importantly I want them to allow me to have my own life without them wanting me to fix every single aspect of their lives (this includes people at my job as well, and people form upstairs).

   Sometimes i wonder what would happen if I died . Probably everyone will move on and go on with their lives.

02/09/11

 Here I lie today writing this entry comfortable in my "nest"  (my bed) sipping Merlot (winter berry) and hearing the heat as I can see the sub-zero temperatures of the outside. It's not a long entry, this one, just one entry to keep a good habit to write. Not much happened today; Marucha got sick, massive indigestion from a carrot cake and a breakfast sandwich, that i cooked!
she was still throwing up a lot just a few minutes ago,  but she now feels better, ^_^! I stayed home and tried to work on my 2nd vlog which I didn't get much far. Chiyo went to the movies to see "True Grit" apparently is really good. I want to see  "The Rite" (About exorcisms and stuff)  but it seems that it might suck. Capi chewed up one of my gloves. I didn't hit him nor anything (din't have to) he knew exactly what he did wrong when I looked at him I felt bad but I knew that I still needed to enforce this, 5 minutes later though he laid down all dejected on the side of my chair as I worked on the computer. I reached for him and I told him that I forgave him. He instantly became happy again. On that note I must say that he also escaped tonight. I didn't have to run to get him; it was so cold that he didn't mind, in fact, he wanted to come back >:D. Either way work was the same, people being inappropriate ordering bread, cooking and cleaning because new co-workers are to new and inept to do anything on their own, (kinda like it that way though), took 2 bagels home to save them from going in to the garbage, and in the process I forgot my new "mountain Dew Whiteout" soda :'(

    Parents are fine, Mother's recuperating. Father's working and we paid 4450.00 from that electricity bill $450.00 more to go. ^_^! Cable's coming, I might need to pay for that one :'(

    Well this has been today's rant just to keep you informed, I shall continue my reading and drinking ^_^! Nighty Night.

Ps. Richard still hither, slaming doors as always.

02/08/11

Drugs Can Bring Peace      1:55 AM

So, I thought that this was going to be my angry book where I whine about everything; but it seems like it is not necessarily so anymore.  For now.

   Everything started in the morning. My mom fell and was yelling for someone to help her, when of course that took a turn to the beginning of a chaotic  World War III, Marucha thought that the mother was yelling at Chiyo for being awake all night at 7 AM! so of course that made her pissy because she wanted to sleep and who the heck starts screaming in front of your door (which is open and you are sleeping) at 7 AM!1 So we ended up deciding to make a meeting. No one wanted to have it and everyone was upset and felt insulted for how inconsiderate everyone has been with everyone.  Either way, I did say that I wasn't going to whine on this entry. ^_^! after 3 million hours of mediating and listening to everyone, i just told the Marucha if she wanted a sniff of a popper, which she reluctantly took after me, when I first took it, I felt like a knot in my solar plexus became undone and I felt extra relaxed, so did Marucha, and It seemed like that it's all it took for the issues to go away, we had a meeting (Marucha wasn't there) but it went well. Everyone seemed to agree to everything, mainly because we have a massive electricity bill that we have to pay ($904.00) by the 22nd of this month. That bill seemed to justify everything and our tensions seemed to divert towards that, so right now everyone is swimmingly and splendidly getting along!

HURRAY!
                                                                                   (let's hope this lasts)
                                                                                    ------------------
                                                                                         -----------
                                                                                              ----
                                                                                                -
PS.- Still need to make sometime to meditate.

02/03/11

             Whine or beer?                12:00AM

Dear diary; or should I say "Dear Journal?" either way your name shall be Octavious! . . . May be not . . . we'll see . . . Anyway today finally we got to go and wash 1month and 1/2 worth of laundry, we really really needed to do this ^_^! Steph as always seems to find any comment, gesture, or anything to just get mad. sometimes I just feel that she does it only around me, to be honest I don't think she really likes me very much. In fact, I think that she resents me so much that she finds any excuse she can to get back at me. Yea it makes me angry but at the same time I feel as if no one in this house really cares to find out what's in my mind/ what I feel. I guess this sparks the incessant need for me to get this journal/diary thing.  My mom seems to talk to me when she needs something, so does Father, Chiyo, Steph; pretty much everyone (including the dog sometimes) If I don't pay attention/do what people are asking me, then each and everyone gets extra pissy with me. I feel as if I'm not really meant to lie my own life. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the needs of everyone. As soon as I wake up/am awaken is Luis! this, Luis! come here and do this, do that, from my parents; *ignore* *ignore* *ignore* from Stephanie "Marucha what's wrong?" I ask "My professor, your parents, Capi, this house, my phone, money, my nails, everything everyone and the whole world" she answers as  as she walks away from me slamming the door shut on my face "Good morning?"  I whisper in my mind as I get angry from frustration on how I'm the spittoon on which everyone blames and rants and takes out anger on me. It has always been like this but it never bothered me, I guess since the Maruchan tends to get angry at everything I Have been learning to get angry at things  that I wouldn't otherwise. (somethings are bound to stick when you are spending 75%--85% of the time together) writing actually makes me feel better, reminds me how insignificant are the things I keep whining about. Either way, I digress.

  So today I was doing the laundry and I went to the dollar store and found a series of 4 small books hard bounded that seemed to be worth about $12:95 in my head but they had them for $1:29 thus I bought them, ^_^! I can't wait to read the one titled "To Be Read By Candle Light" there are crossword poems (which I need to figure out how they work) "The Devil's Dictionary" should be interesting. *Currently I find myself drinking a Miller, which makes me forget why I wanted to whine in this journal today* ^_^!! I guess the why people drink to forget their problems holds some true to it after all ^_^!! *beer hits me hard* (LOL) I swear it wasn't my intention to drink this for this purpose. I guess, no more whining . . . no more writing . . . till next time says Firechild or more like Fire ears (so hot my ears are ^_^!) don't judge . . . enjoy. . . . . . life's shrt . . .  *thus the contraction*

02/01/11

   Un-peaceful Night (Jeffrey's Hither)           2:00 AM

 Why is it that it seems that there is a lot of stubbornness in this place.  Such is the bubble in which all these people live. Reality check anyone?! It seems that only when they find out how hard it is to move out of the comfort and commodities of the nest is that they'll find themselves like an atheist under fire; better yet like and ordinary atheist that knows the difficulty of having the blame weight of the world on your shoulders, because you can't blame it on anyone else (like God) but yourself. It is only when you have to cook, CLEAN, and PAY! for, internet, phone, electricity and everything else and how is it that lack of a job and financial support from your so called friends and only then it seems that you will realize the kind of company and the type of HELP! they drag down on you. I wish you could open your eyes and see above and beyond "this" pathetic little world of attention-seeking babies. Such brilliance and talent, cannot and should not be wasted with anyone with such high morals and standards as to use such Noble and generous hearts that give and give, giving up families and loved ones just to follow idols and sacrilegious hands full of hypocritical parasites contributing only misery and despair on all of its radius of existence.

   Only things I can do for you now is to pray and put you in the hands of God hoping that your eyes will open to make you have assertiveness to move on with the genius hidden deep inside and not become stuck  in this puddle of filth you now call entertainment.

  I am so thankful to your Angel that always keeps you safe and guides you, PAY ATTENTION! to him, he knows best.

 Know that I and everyone in here, loves you and prays everyday for you! <(^_^<)

01/29/11

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"

                                                        ---William James (1842-1910)

-- The key to remaining calm is being aware of what's going on in the big picture around and beyond you.

--Say "NO" to the things that drain you and focus on bringing in to you life the things that make you happy and give you energy.

--The body contains the brain, the brain helps to move the body, And we suspect that still something else empowers them both: The Spirit.

First day on the new transferance, transending the paper.

 I previously have been writing a blog, or more of a "diary" type of blogging where I would write different things about my life; a kind of outlet where i could unwind. This used to take place on myspace, but the software used in there kinda trapped my diary to the mercy of myspace :( from there there was a gap of about 3 years where nothing got recorded. Then recently I started recording all this things in an actual physical paper and pen journal. Even though it tends to capture much more feeling, as far as the lettering, ink, random doodles and pictures I put in it, it just seems like a very unpractical way of writing. At least for me that is. 


Is not shareable, seems to be stocked as a one of a kind item that seems perishable, thus I have started now this recap where I will transcribe all that I have written in this journal and will continue with the whining lol.