The Second Coming . . . Out

So it has been about a week since I dragged my cousin to his first bar, and I have to say that it has turned wonderfully. I discovered he has a huge tolerance to alcohol, and that he can definitely hold his liquor. That night he was super talkative and outgoing. Something that is not like him at all. He went outside to smoke and plain out asked me, "are you gay?" my answer was a bit defensive and I asked him "why, are YOU gay?" He so nonchalant responded may be bi if anything. This though has brought us super close in the few days since this declaration. He learned that I myself am bi and that I had a girl that I loved. I learned that he came out to his family already and that they think that this whole thing is a phase.  Last night we were drinking at the same bar and we started talking in the car until 2:30 am. He told me things about his ex and I told him about mine. I told him my coming out story and how wonderfully bad it was. As I was telling him the story I could see him feel the emotions I felt when I came out. I saw him sobbing and actually crying. He reached over to hug me and for some weird reason, I had no emotion to that. HE was crying for me, he was sympathetic to my pain. . . he was empathetic to me. Someone actually cared enough to feel what I felt, to cry because I couldn't cry, to make me feel strong and loved. He was being my rock, my pillar. Non-judgmental,  but a genuine human being that felt for me, on top of that he was my family. Where was he when this whole thing was happening before. . . he was going thru the same thing as I was, yet we were both dealing with it in such a lonely way; destructive way. He seems happy now, I am happy to have met him. Even though our ages differ for about 10 years exactly, I look up to him. He is my model of life right now and he doesn't even know it. I am re-discovering myself, trying to grasp the last of my youth. Scratching to stay connected and relevant. I feel so disassociated, isolated.  I am happy for the things and people that have come into my life. I shouldn't feel this depressed.