The Struggle Goes On

    Just when you think that everything is fine and you can look forward in life. . . Shit happens.
It has been a long year with definitely life changing events and the only thing that really keeps me going is "I don't know." Such is the realization of the cruel reality that I see that in many many ways is easier to comprehend a science fiction novel. It amazes me the amount of turmoil a human being can withstand as well as the amount of cruelty another one can inflict. Sure no one's life is particularly easy, and I shouldn't be bragging but you know what? This is my fucking diary so yea this is my own "private" way of complaining to help myself feel a little bit more human, a little bit more "normal" and definitely in order to keep an open heart and not drown into bitterness. In a way, a cathartic way of releasing poison that is injected to me on the daily.  Who in their right minds actually loves to get rejected by everything and everyone first thing in the morning to the end of the night. I many times feel, experience and am exactly that. When you feel that PUSH, it used to make my blood boil, now it just makes my heart cry and break a little more each time. All in all I'm beginning to become so broken I'm beginning to take any shape, no wall not anything just pieces so small I become grains of sand in the soon to be broken hourglass.