Not sure if things are getting better or I'm getting better at numbing the pain. The jealousy, the hurt, the hate, the misguided love and definitely the mismanaged time seems like a blur. I'm the one in the driver seat of a motorcycle in a snowstorm. . . I have frozen up but keep on driving against the wind. I must continue and address one thing at the time.
I keep thinking that karma is going to get all of those that have hurt me but to be honest it doesn't really work in that way. Those people also have a lot of love for me; in their own fucked up way they do care and "love" me, or at least know that I exist. Is not all black and white, all is gray and some shades darker than others making this a difficult way to hate anyone. The only thing left over to do is to love, love, and LOVE more than I ever could.
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