Quick food for thought.

So I keep saying that I'm going to stop paying attention to him and I also keep saying that I'm going to ignore him. Well . . . That's not really happening and in fact it's becoming worse. Now it has come to the point that he won't even acknowledge my presence unless he needs something from me. I keep trying to deny him but I'm very bad at this. I tend to just give in because it is easier for me to do that and ruin my day in order to make his better, than to just deny him. It makes me feel anxious if I say no to him. Seems like I have left something unfinished and it eats me from the inside to the point that I can't let it go.

I need to come up with a solution to all this so I can have my own time. . . my own life. He obviously does.

Bipolarity, Sweet and Bitter should just be kept extrictly to food

Every time I go with you is mainly a sea of sorrow followed by a few moments of bliss. You don't care about my opinions or my fears, you only care about you being comfortable. What do you care if I have to pay everything including the roof in which you live in. What do you care about the troubles of adulthood. You are just a kid, a kid that has tons of mood swings and the knowledge that you know that you are loved and that this person (me) can and will do anything you want to you is the only weapon you wield to cause harm.  Why do I even put myself in this situation. "let's go to the movies" says stupid me, rational me is "Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself, he's just going to demean your existence and make you feel worthless" . . . and I simply do it because in my stupid fantasy of a world I have faith that he will care and hold me, and listen to everything I have to say. That he will be interested in what I have to say, think and do. He worries about all the things I have to pay and he offers help so I won't be so stressed. He knows I'm tired, specially because of my job, and he knows that I need to rest. He's understanding, empathetic and helpful.  Reality is that he is selfish, ignorant, arrogant, condescending, impatient, and he hates being with me, listening to me and in short everything that has to do with me. Yet he is perfectly okay living at my expense. I'm tired of you being such an asshole and in a minute or two trying to be friendly and loving to me. YOU'RE A DOUCHE BAG!

How dare you look at pictures of others and then say "he's so hot" and then turn to me and sweet talk "are we going to get dinner after the movie" Fucking shameless asshole. Karma is really going to get you and I definitely need to stop being so permissive with stupid people that are not worth my time. You are just using me for your own benefit. I'm killing myself for you and you don't even flinch at the sight of me. Curse that I am still in love with you. Curse that I fucking do this for you, I hope you realize what you are doing to people, because the universe is funny that way. For every action you take, there's an equal and opposite reaction. . . The amount of that potential energy of negativity you surround yourself in will come back to haunt you. I won't have anything to do with it.