Kicks with Love

I remember the first time you shoved me. The first time you kicked me out of your bosom. Forcefully and coldly as if I'm not anyone you cared about or "loved" (perhaps is because you never did). It was like a cold knife going thru my heart and chilling the blood in my veins. I felt the chill of dejection caused by your own acts of rejection. I was no one, I had no value to you I was a THING that bothered you that was better to kick away (literally).   Almost three years from that and now your kicks stab at a numb and callous heart. The physical pain is not what I cared, it was the emotion, the hurt, the betrayal, that I cared. Now, this wounded heart is nothing but a numb entity that can follow his day as if nothing had happen. Your kisses which you claim is love is nothing but a ticking bomb waiting for your next mood swing that will leave me paralyzed. Your violence and negligence makes me want to vomit in discord. Not even hate, but this ------------------------- NOTHING as if I'm a zombie created by the darker side of love. This is me right now. I don't know what are you anymore, yet . . . this was always YOU!

Mental Quake

Confrontations with you
 always make me bleed

Who am I kidding. . . I AM JEALOUS !!!  You can make up whatever story you want to try to get out of the house, but you are as clear to read as this very post.  I know what you do, I know who you do, and worst of all. . . I know of the guilt you feel when you see me after your sin. I am sickened of myself for playing in your charade. Unfortunately
for my mental health I DO still LOVE you.

----- but I don't TRUST you----