Superfluous

It's amazing the amount of bullshit that a human mind and body can actually endure. I keep thinking on the things that are going thru my life. Apparently I'm a rebound, from a past relationship. This makes so much sense now. The violence, the apathy, the lack of interest and love. I was just in the way of someone's love. I was just a step for them to get up and move on with life. In the process, this foot stepped on me and pushed me into the mud.

Cousin I know you are trying such "aesthetic" and making it seem as if you actually care. Seems like you wanted to walk with me not to make me feel better but to show that you can care about someone. I felt the cold, not from the weather but from the hurried feet that I had to keep up with. The lack of sympathy when you talked to your friends thru your headset, the good bye hug and the hurried hushed mumbling of dis-genuine "you're like a brother" sentence that seemed forced due to my conversation with you. 

I'm depressed yea that is true, it seems like I am depressed because of the people and the lack of sympathy I have been getting from those that I thought I was the closest. I am nothing but an afterthought. Nothing but a rebound. Nothing but a second choice because the best has deserted them. . . 

What to do now is what I wonder. I feel like getting lost and disappearing from everyone's life just to get back at them. Unfortunately I believe that my disappearance will not even be noticed. Everyone is busiest with their own life, to care for mine; unless it brings them something. I'm glad I don't have a car right now, people cannot depend on me for anything and have to show their true colours. I'm nothing but a ride to some. 

Such superfluity.